Crimson Memories
by Shadow Knight2
Summary: This is my first try at Cowboy Bebop, so PLEASE REVIEW!!! ^_^.... Anyways, Spike goes back to a place where he would like to leave memories behind, but.. has a hard time doing so when he remembers a certain woman from his life before... It's a one-shot.


Crimson Memories  
  
Shadow Knight  
  
Disclaimer: Three words: COWBOY BEBOP RULES! ^_^ And..I don't own it.  
  
~  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Don't know, but without me, you fools would be left behind. I fought that war like there was no tomorrow. You idiots were left shivering in your boots."  
  
"Shut up. We were there too and you know it."  
  
"Yup, we sure were. We battled through that war like there was no tomorrow."  
  
I felt a slight smirk light my face as I heard the three, old men bickering, left behind me as I continued to walk on. I could have sworn I knew them from somewhere else. Yet, as I passed by them, I felt my grin slowly dissolve into a frown.  
  
Why was I here? I had no purpose here.. Yet. I knew something had brought me to this mangy planet. this disgusting and filthy place. I knew it as I felt my heart being tugged, leading my feet blindly.  
  
Even as I felt my feet stop, resting lightly among the trash littered ground, I let my eyes roll up instinctively up the metal staircase that reached like a black hand of death before me.  
  
Involuntarily, I raised a foot, the metal clang against my shoes making me shiver. As each foot fell upon the stairs, clicking like a hammer on a nail, I felt something burn behind my eyes. When my feet stopped and reached the top of the metal staircase, I let my eyelids slam shut like the cold, heavy lid of a coffin.  
  
Yet, even as I tried to refuse the burning heat behind my eyes, I felt the singing behind my eyes break through my defense.  
  
Hot, salted tears burned fiery tracks down my cheeks.  
  
Even as I felt them stream down my cheeks in rivulets, I felt too tired.. Too tired to reach up and brush away my tears and weaknesses. I was.tired of living.  
  
Each day that I lived out, putting on my false facades of confidence.. They were beginning to crumble into the dust I had left behind in my previous life. I knew it might sound weird, but it's true. I've died and come back. I was killed by the same one who caused me to be cry now, showing my weaknesses.  
  
I was killed before by a beautiful woman.  
  
Still, though I wanted to push away these scars that continued to burn in my soul, I couldn't help it. I had to see her again. that woman. Yet, even as I tried to resist, I felt my hand rise shakily. I tipped on the balls of my feet and rested my hand against the door. Although, cold bitterness bit back at my hand, I couldn't help but enjoy this stunning coldness. This numbing anesthetic that killed my sorrow.  
  
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against the door. As I closed my eyes and tried to remember all that had gone on in that small room, I knew that I couldn't bring her back. she was lost to me. Falling away from me like an unearthly being to a place where I couldn't quite reach. No, she left me here among this grimy existence, reaching for her pale, hand.  
  
She never came back to me.  
  
As my breath came out, choked by the tears that stung at my eyes, I felt it heat the door under my face. Suddenly, I felt my legs feel weak.. So weak. I slid down to the ground, using the door as my support.  
  
My long legs bent like lithe twigs underneath me. I felt my hands reach up to my head, trying to escape these memories that continued to plague me, drowning me in an abyss of bitterness and longing. How. I wondered to myself.how could she do this to me?  
  
I loved her so much.  
  
I let my head lean back and rest against the door. Then, I opened my eyes.  
  
A crimson sky was painted above on the canvas of my eyes. Still, as I continued to stare at this dull red that littered the sky, I felt memories flash in front of my eyes, skewing and twisting the tinted sky above me.  
  
I felt something explode behind my eyes.  
  
Don't you remember, .. Julia? Can't you remember that time I asked you to dance a forgotten dance? When I asked you to run away with me? So we could escape? Escape our tarnished lives? To leave behind our past and make a new future. I wanted to share it all with you.. Julia. You were. my life.  
  
Julia, ..did you ever love me?  
  
I knew that even as I asked all these unbidden questions, I would never receive an answer. No. there would always be that cold, dull silence residing in my mind. I would never know. Not now.  
  
I felt a laugh croak from my throat. How ironic. Here I am, a lonely, vagrant, bounty hunter.. crooning over a lost love. I reached into my pocket as I shut my eyes. I needed no more tears. No,. not for that woman. She was. something from the past. A seductive fling that lasted between us caused the downfall of us both. We waltzed around our problems as long as we could, trying to deny that anything bad could happen.  
  
But we were mistaken. Terribly, terribly mistaken.  
  
Withdrawing my hand from my jacket pocket, I felt the slim figure of a cigarette mold into my hand. Bringing it slowly to my mouth, I sighed. I shouldn't stay here much longer. I was trying to revisit something from the past. Something from a previous life.  
  
I wasn't going to be broken again.  
  
I lighted my cigarette with a stray match in my pocket. I inhaled deeply. Even as the smoke filtered through my lungs, I couldn't try and shake the tight hand that clutched my head, choking out unbidden memories.  
  
No, I had to forget these once again. I was. living a new life and I couldn't let my emotions interfere anymore. If I did. I knew it wouldn't turn out well. Emotions never really did help me in a lot of situations. They only got me in trouble.  
  
Suddenly, I felt something light and cold land on my nose.  
  
Looking up into the crimson sky, I saw what had landed on my nose as it fell in a small flurry of white. Snow.  
  
When the snow began to fall in thicker folds, I pushed myself up to my feet and began making my way down the stairs. As I reached the end, I walked down the street, out of the city, out of my memories. I shivered as the cold bit at me with glee. I quickly slipped into my ship, letting the plastic bubble enclose around me.  
  
As the engine roared to life with a mighty cry, I soared off. away from that grimy little planet. Even though I escaped from its clutches, I felt an unwanted thought probe at my mind.  
  
Julia always had loved winter on Mars.  
  
~  
  
Like it? Hate it? Please oh PLEASE TELL ME!!! ^_^ I love Cowboy Bebop, but could never think of anything to write about on it until one day.CLICK!.it just came out of the blue and then I wrote this. Weird, eh?  
  
ANYWAYS.before I ramble on, I hope that you would be SO NICE as to click the purple button at the bottom and review on this story. I may do another part for Vicious, but I'm not so sure.  
  
Oy! If you didn't know who the three men were at the beginning, they were the three old guys who are always saying that they built this and that and if it weren't for "him" (as the one guy always says) then the other two wouldn't be there? Got a clue yet? Sorry, if I just confused you. ^_^* Ciao. ^_~ 


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